“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.” –John Wilmot
As your children work through their academics they’re also building character and learning key life lessons. Mentoring them presents you with the opportunities as a parent to experience these self-discoveries with them. Even when life seems like a real struggle or when you feel ill-prepared to deal with what your child is challenging you with, these are all precious moments that strengthen family relationships, building a foundation for the highest good of everyone.
Your role as the parent influences your child, his development and learning but even more so the marriage between husband and wife. You and your spouse are everything—companion, friend, counselor, helper and partner. When both parents realize this, the home becomes a place of good living and fond memories. As your children grow and develop, your partnership will be the most influential relationship they experience, the cornerstone that forms the bond you have with them and how they choose to form relationships with others, present and future.
My children experience every day how to live in loving harmony. Does that mean we just cruise through life problem free? Not even close. Problems do arise, but what matters is how we approach solving those problems and as we work together, the frequency at which problems arise diminish. Solutions to common relationship problems can be found in understanding and appreciating each family member for the unique and special individual they are. Helping our partner get what he wants helps us get what we want. We all see life filtered through the lenses of our own perception, viewing life that is unique to us. It’s our differences, rather than our commonalities, that draw us to each other. Imagine living in a family where everyone thinks the same way, acts the same way, talks the same way. Where’s the fun in all that “sameness”? As we allow each other the freedom to explore individual interests, the entire family dynamic changes. As the individual grows and changes, so does the family. The individual adds value to the family and the family flourishes as a result. Everyone becomes more and has more to bring into the relationship.
We are all here to fulfill a special purpose in life. We each have different values, those aspects of ourselves that are important to us and we are wired to see the world through the perception of those values. When you’re living on purpose, living authentically, in those moments you’re most inspired and fulfilled. However, as we move through the ebb and flow of life we are confronted with others’ values, especially that of our family and of our spouse’s. When we are fully supported in our values we naturally feel open and expansive. When we are being challenged, we close up and withdraw.
Our full commitment is not being with a particular person, but rather living according to our highest values. The misperception of this commitment can at times keep us engaged with an inner or even outer struggle in our relationships. It can also cause us to have unrealistic expectations. When we can adjust our perception and realize we are here to be a sort of “midwife” for each other, we can appreciate the not only the flow of support but the challenges as well.
Not only is your spouse your partner for your highest good but your children are also here to bring about accelerated learning on your behalf. We must keep in mind at all times that we are not only here to teach our children but our children are here to teach us and help us to live to our highest good.
When a situation or challenge arises it is advisable to ask yourself, “How does this benefit me? What does this teach me?” Keep your family in your heart rather than placing them in the pit. At all times you can be reflecting from your heart the words and feelings: “Thank you” and “I love you.”
As you begin reflecting from your heart this gratitude and love, you will be able to more clearly see what is showing up in your spouse or your children as challenges, which are a reflection of something in you that needs adjustment or growth to rise to your highest good and purpose.
The way to best relate and use these opportunities to grow is to be mindful of each individual’s values and honor them at all times, in the way that best supports those values. If you feel like the person is not honoring you in your values, then take some time to link their values to your values and see how their values contribute to you living out your values. Love them for who they are, allowing them to love you for who you are.
Living inspired is not quiet, careful and uneventful; quite the contrary. What makes the difference is living from the heart, honoring everyone in their values and realizing everything (even when it doesn’t seem so) is always for your highest good, always. What a joy it is as a family to live an Inspired Education where relationships are in harmony and we allow and honor the flow of everyone’s living and growing together.
“Wisdom is the instantaneous recognition that a crisis is a blessing.” – Dr. John Demartini
Parents Inspired to Action:
Create a list of your five to 10 highest values. Place them in order of priority.
Create a list of your spouse’s five to 10 highest values, or better yet do this together and share with each other.
Link your values to your spouse’s values and see how you’re supporting each other in living your highest values. Where does it seem like there needs to be more support and start doing what it takes.
Begin the practice of living from your heart with your loved ones and reflecting from your heart the words and feelings: “Thank you” and “I love you.”
Be patient and kind to yourself as well as your other family members, helping each of you learn and grow, achieving your highest values, and fulfilling your lifelong purpose.
Children Inspired to Action:
Create a list of each child’s five to 10 highest values. Place them in order of priority.
Find opportunities to support their values unconditionally.
Teach your children that when they are faced with a decision to ask themselves, such as “Does this add more life to all and less to none?” always look for the win-win in every situation being mindful of others.
You might be wondering what kind of systems you can incorporate to get the results you’re looking for in your own homeschool and life. What are the daily details to make it happen? Trial and error can take a lot of time. Successful people always incorporate the help of mentors and coaches so they don’t have to re-invent the wheel. If you would like a more systematic approach that includes the details to help you produce real change fast, I recommend joining the Mentor Mastery Inner Circle. It keeps you inspired and you receive coaching directly from Donna in the most important things for setting up simple, effective systems giving your children an education in excellence while creating family harmony. It’s easy. It’s affordable. Get started today at www.donnavailinternational.com/inner-circle.html.
Think peace, live love.