“Love makes everything that is heavy, light.” –Thomas Kempis
When we’re in search of peace, love and harmony for the family we don’t have to look far. Amazingly enough, it is already there and all you have to do is go within to bring it out. It sounds simple, but with so many different personalities involved challenges do arise.
When raising a family it’s important to remember that everyone can’t possibly be on the same page at the same time. These differences of personalities and opinions are what creates the dynamics of the family. One thing it will most certainly do is test your patience, but more importantly it teaches you to love, and true love is unconditional.
The most important time in one’s life is the first seven years. This time frame is the foundation of your life. The academics are important, this is true, but a child without love will simply wither away. As we mature we begin relying on that upbringing for sustainability, but is it sustaining you? And now that you have children of your own you’re creating what will sustain them. At times we can feel at a loss because of the conditions we have brought forward in ourselves. Don’t worry if you feel like you don’t know how to right the wrongs of the past. I am going to show you how you can parent yourself while you parent your children.
If you don’t like what is showing up in your children’s behavior, rather than correcting them, take a hard look at yourself and ask what it is inside you that caused this behavior to show up. Sometimes you will get an answer or realization immediately. Now is the opportunity to heal yourself, correct yourself and watch and observe as your children quietly correct themselves.
Remember, children mirror what they see. They’re simply reacting to you, whether you’re in a good mood, grumpy, down or even angry. They are constantly mirroring it back to you. Give it a try and test it. Note the mood you’re in and observe your children. What you will begin to notice is just how influential your emotional state is on your children’s behavior. The beauty of this is that we can’t really control others but we have total control of ourselves.
Could the friction in your family simply be unmet expectations? It’s easy to have preconceived ideas, conditions we bring with us from our own past. It’s time to listen with your heart and live from the soul. Remember, your children are a perfect match for you and a family as a whole. Forgive your children for being different and challenging you to accept new ideas. You don’t have to have it all figured out so you can ease up and let everyone be exactly who they are.
First steps into finding this peace, love and harmony will be in working on yourself and giving others the space for full support through mind, body and soul practices. Some of these practices I have suggested to you before. At times I will rearrange them creating more ease and opening minds to realize how great of a difference this makes. You will either be creating this as a new practice or re-evaluating your current practice to be sure you’re including all practices that are necessary for you to be at your best, to live from a place of peace, love and harmony.
Begin immediately including in your everyday Practices in Wellbeing: 1) Quiet time, meditation, prayer, 2) Plenty of sleep and rest, 3) Replenish the body with a healthy diet of clean and nutrient dense foods and 4) Exercise at the pace that’s right for you. When you honor yourself and take care of your body you will be empowered to be fully present and engaged in your relationships.
Next, sit down with each family member individually and take them through a questioning process so you can better know them and honor them individually. Do this for yourself as well.
- What do you really want in life and are most passionate about?
- What is really, really important to you?
- What makes you the very happiest?
- What do you owe somebody an apology for?
- What can you do to help yourself accomplish your desires and dreams?
- What do you wish were different?
- What do you want to contribute to the family and how do you want to help with the household?
- What do you want to do together?
Write these down on a paper for each person in your family including yourself. You might even want to create a spreadsheet. Post it on the wall or bulletin board and create an accountability team as a family to support and encourage each other to honor each member and fulfill these desires. Remember the key here is to honor each other, so if someone brings up something that upsets another, carefully work through it or decide to allow the other person that privilege. Over time they will be fulfilled and may change, so be sure to practice this numerous times according to your family’s needs.
Taking time to really be present for one another is what will bond and carry you through a lifetime of peace, love and harmony. Find it now and as your children grow it will continue to flow. By living this way, your children learn and recognize that this is how relationships are strengthened. As they grow, they will be good at passing it on to others as well as their own families when they are grown.
Choose peace and always look within first. Stay inspired and find your place of peace, love and harmony.
“Of life’s two chief prizes, beauty and truth, I found the first in a loving heart and the second in a laborer’s hand.” –Kahlil Gibran
Parents Inspired to Action:
Work on yourself first and be aware of your actions and reactions. Be the observer when it comes to your children and their behavior. How are you feeling and how are they acting out? Is there any correlation?
Sit with your children and go through the question process so you can really know them. Share the answers you have for these questions as well so they can know you. Once you have that completed, use the list as a goal sheet and support one another through the process of fulfilling that listed. Always choose the path of love as you work through these changes and your relationship grows.
Children Inspired to Action:
Create a positive experience with your children as you sit and interview them with the questions listed above. Put them at ease by being fully present and taking time to ponder the questions openly. Give them a turn in the interviewer’s seat and allow them to ask you the questions. This can be very fun and creative.
You might be wondering what kind of systems you can incorporate to get the results you’re looking for in your own homeschool and life. What are the daily details to make it happen? Trial and error can take a lot of time. Successful people always incorporate the help of mentors and coaches so they don’t have to re-invent the wheel. If you would like a more systematic approach that includes the details to help you produce real change fast, I recommend joining the Mentor Mastery Inner Circle. It keeps you inspired and gives you the most important things for setting up simple, effective systems giving your children an education in excellence while creating family harmony. It’s easy. It’s affordable. Get started today at www.donnavailinternational.com/inner-circle.html.
Think peace, live love.